How Good Are Your Negotiation Skills?

By Rob Wright, Chief Editor, Life Science Leader
Follow Me On Twitter @RfwrightLSL

I had never heard the phrase “the curse of knowledge” before attending this year’s DCAT Week conference. But on my way home from NYC, of all the new facts, topics, and concepts I had crammed into my brain at the show, it was this one that persistently kept coming to the forefront.

I learned about the “curse of knowledge” when I attended a presentation by Mario Moussa, Ph.D. co-director of the Wharton Strategic Persuasion Workshop and co-author of The Art of Woo: Using Strategic Persuasion To Sell Your Ideas. Essentially, this phrase refers to a common mistake people make when approaching a negotiation — you communicate with the other person as if they already know what you know.

Are You Speaking Their Language?

We have all probably experienced talking with a subject matter expert (e.g., an automotive mechanic explaining what is wrong with your car) while thinking, “I have no clue what they are talking about.” How successful these people are at helping or influencing you often depends on how effective they are at communicating in a language you understand, as well as in a “currency” you value. To explain this concept, Moussa began his presentation by sharing a story. A few years ago, he and his wife wanted to convince their daughter to go to academic summer camp. Moussa applied the three basic principles of strategic persuasion (i.e., influencing, persuading, and negotiating). Think of these as hierarchical, with the first being influencing. According to Moussa, success at influencing requires trust, credibility, and relationships. Despite being “the Dad” and an expert negotiator, his influencing efforts failed. Next he tried the second principle, persuading, which he says involves appealing to a person’s sense of reason. Success here is predicated on understanding the other person’s beliefs and values. Again, his attempts proved unsuccessful.

At this point you may be thinking, “You are the father. Why not just tell your daughter she has to go and be done with it?” According to Moussa, this is something great leaders seek to avoid, especially when it comes to internal negotiations. “The best leaders use their formal position of authority sparingly to avoid running the risk of undermining the motivation of the people around them,” he says. “Evidence shows that 70 percent of organizational projects and ideas don’t achieve their targets.” One of the primary reasons this happens is leadership failing to understand what motivates employees and not using the principles of strategic persuasion to create buy-in.

Given his lack of success, it was determined that his wife would give it a shot. She approached their daughter using the third principle, negotiation, which involves trades. She said, “If you go to academic summer camp we will let you get your ears pierced.” Moussa’s wife demonstrated mastery of a critical negotiating skill — speaking in a language her daughter understood, as well as communicating in a currency she would value. Would it surprise you to learn that their daughter agreed to go? “The key to negotiation is to ask yourself what you can give the other person at a low cost that will satisfy them,” says Moussa. Sometimes you don’t have to give away all that much during a negotiation. It all depends on what they value and how you frame the value of what you are giving.

What Is The Difference Between Good And Great Negotiators?

To be a great negotiator requires first understanding the four steps of the strategic persuasion process: (1) preparation; (2) information exchange (i.e., getting on the same page); (3) bargaining or communicating; and (4) closing and commitment. According to Moussa, two of the biggest mistakes people make during the negotiation process are (A) not spending enough time preparing, and (B) wanting to jump too quickly to the bargaining step. Moussa says this is primarily the result of overconfidence, which is a natural consequence of someone being healthy and well-adjusted. “Unfortunately, overconfident people have a tendency to focus too much on their own point of view,” he says. To prevent overconfidence from impeding your success, Moussa suggests doing what most successful professionals do — use a checklist. “Pilots, doctors, and engineers use checklists to manage highly complex situations, and rely on simple prompts and reminders to minimize the likelihood of making mistakes or skipping steps,” he says. For a resource on how to create effective checklists, Moussa advocates reading The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande.

“When preparing for your negotiation, don’t focus on what you want or what you have to say,” Moussa says. “Instead, ask yourself why might the other person disagree? What are the barriers to agreement? How do I focus on and remove those barriers?” During the negotiation, Moussa suggests having simple prompts written on a piece paper in front of you with phrases like, “Am I asking the right questions? Am I really listening? Am I paying attention to what matters to them?” These reminders can help prevent your negotiation from going off the rails. With regard to closing, Moussa feels this is something people often don’t pay close enough attention to. “Action drives commitment,” he attests. “When we act on an idea is when we tend to become more and more committed, because we tend to align our beliefs and attitudes with our actions.” According to Moussa, it is not unusual for people to act first and become committed later. This was the case with his daughter attending academic summer camp. While he admits this amount of preparation takes more time, doing so will result in much more effective communication and negotiations.

Another difference between being a good versus a great negotiator is practice. How do they practice? According to Moussa, deliberately, systematically, and utilizing a four-step process. “Great negotiators approach practice by first reminding themselves of the three key principles of strategic persuasion [influencing, persuading, negotiating], as well as the four-step process [preparation, information exchange, bargaining or communicating, and closing and commitment],” he says. “Next, they actually apply those principles to develop muscle memory.” This is followed by seeking feedback. The final step in practicing negotiations is making adjustments based on feedback. According to Moussa, there is another benefit to practicing. “Great negotiators are very clear about their goals, which provides focus,” he says. “Unfortunately, this can promote tunnel vision, lowering our ability to empathize with the other person.” Thorough preparation and practice helps to improve a person’s situational and self-awareness, equipping them to be better at adapting to different situations that can arise during a negotiation.

There are a variety of ways in which you can improve your negotiation skills. However, planning, practicing, and pondering what is important to the person on the other side of the table, while also being able to communicate in a language and currency they value, will go a long way to improving your desired outcomes.