The Question Behind The Question

When I met James Robinson, VP vaccine product and technical operations at Merck, I didn’t expect us to start our own little book club. But after our discussion, he thought it would be worth my while to review John Miller’s book, The Question Behind the Question, (QBQ). In exchange, I sent him a copy of Mark Scharenbroich’s book, Nice Bike, which I intend to write a blog about, unless Jim beats me to the punch. The gist behind Miller’s book is the practicing of personal accountability. Which begs the question, what has happened to personal responsibility?

Who Can I Blame Today
Have you ever had the experience of going to a store, asking for help, only to hear, “I am sorry, that is not my department.” Miller starts out his book relating a number of these stories where in one form or another, we hear, things like, “It’s not my fault. It’s not my job. It’s not my problem.” The book should have been distributed with a high blood pressure medication, because I felt it rising as I read, because I can surely relate to these situations, and have probably done them myself. Miller’s advice to overcome this, we need to turn our thinking around and ask ourselves personally accountable questions. Most of us, when faced with a frustration or challenge of some kind, our first reaction tends to be negative and defensive, and the first queries that occur to us are incorrect questions — IQs. Here are a few examples. Customer service rep, “Why don’t customers follow the instructions?” Salesperson, “Why are our prices so high?” Management, “When am I going to find good people?” My personal favorite from the executive level, “Who dropped the ball?” The spirit of the QBQ, is to ask better questions.

The Spirit of QBQ
There is a well-established legal principle which states that there is a difference between the “letter” and “spirit” of the law. The letter of the law refers to the specific words used in the law itself, while the spirit refers to the underlying concepts and intentions behind the law. So if you were applying this concept, the letter of QBQ would be: (1) Begin questions with what or how, not why, when, or who; (2) A question should contain an “I,” not they, them, we or you; and, (3) They should focus on action. The spirit of QBQ is personal accountability involving these three things: (1) No more victim thinking, procrastinating, or blaming; (2) I can only change me; and, (3) Take action. Miller points out that it is possible to construct questions that follow the letter of QBQ, but conflict with the spirit, i.e. “What can I do to make you change?” Personal accountability starts with making better choices. If you want to make better choices, ask better questions.

Ask Better Questions
QBQ has a simple message. The only thing you can change is you. You can do this by asking better questions. For example, a simple QBQ question when faced with a problem, “What can I do?” It contains I and focuses on action. But remember, it isn’t what you say, but how you say it. What can I do, sounds very different from WHAT CAN I DO?!?!?!?! Here’s what you can do … stop being a victim.

Why Is This Happening To Me?
Ever been around someone who asks themself the victim question, “Why is this happening to me?” This is the question victims like to ask. I was once on the golf course with a psychologist friend of mine, who, after making a bad shot said aloud, “Oh, don’t do this to me.” He then caught himself, saying to me, “Isn’t that interesting. Here I am, blaming the bad shot as if it was something in which I did not actively play a part in contributing to.” Personal accountability is a choice. Stress is a choice. No matter whatever the “trigger event,” i.e. management, economy, weather — we always choose our own response. Stress is the result of our choices. Want less stress in your organization, try a little personal accountability. Instead of finger-pointing and procrastinating, try bringing out the best in each other, work together the way teams are supposed to, and make great things happen. Start by reading QBQ, which I promise will take you less than an hour. Then, read it again.