Why Empathy Is Your Most Powerful Leadership Tool
By Monica Singh Avram
At some point in their career, nearly everyone believes that leadership is about guiding every situation with complete balance and control. It’s natural to think that strength comes from always having the answers. For me, real life changed that view.
After years of IVF, I was finally expecting my son at the age of 41. Late in pregnancy, I developed high blood pressure, which led to rare and serious postpartum preeclampsia. Then a few years later, just ahead of my 45th birthday, I was blessed to be expecting my daughter. After a seamless pregnancy, I was blindsided by what my care team described as one of the most complicated c-sections they had ever encountered — and against all odds, I developed postpartum preeclampsia again. In both cases, I found myself balancing recovery from serious health scares while embracing the juggling act of new motherhood.
These experiences changed how I think about resilience and reshaped my approach to leadership. I no longer view vulnerability as something to conceal — it is now part of the foundation from which I lead.
Coming back to work following my maternity leave, I wasn’t any less capable. In fact, I was more aware. I saw how personal experiences influence how we show up. I began to understand on a deeper level how much leadership depends on connection and that connection starts with empathy. It became central to how I lead.
More Engaged Teams
Empathy is often talked about as a soft skill. In my experience, however, it’s key to building trust, driving performance, and developing strong teams. A 2023 Catalyst study found that employees with empathetic leaders are more engaged, innovative, and likely to stay at their company. That data supports what I’ve seen firsthand: People perform better when they feel seen and understood. Teams stay longer, give more, and grow stronger.
Leadership programs tend to focus on strategy, delegation, and communication. Emotional intelligence doesn’t always get the same attention. But the ability to read a room, notice when someone is struggling, and build psychological safety is what helps teams thrive. Leaders who prioritize empathy create the conditions for innovation, loyalty, and growth.
A Conversation Changed How I Lead
Years ago, a team member I managed began missing deadlines. His work had always been excellent, and this shift was sudden. I checked in, and he eventually shared that he was going through a personal loss. He hadn’t mentioned it earlier because he wasn’t sure it would be received with understanding.
That conversation changed how I led. We adjusted his workload slightly and gave him the support he needed to find his footing again. Within weeks, he was fully re-engaged. More than that, he was grateful and more committed to the team.
Leadership means knowing how to push and when to pause. It means recognizing that people bring their full lives with them to work and that acknowledging this makes us more effective. Empathy becomes a tool for performance.
Practical Ways To Lead With Empathy
Creating a culture rooted in empathy doesn’t happen through grand gestures. It shows up in small, consistent choices. And those choices are what ultimately define the tone of a workplace.
- Practice Active Listening. Real listening is about presence. It means setting aside distractions and taking in what someone is saying without rushing to fix it. It’s a skill that builds trust quickly and deeply. In one-on-one meetings, in hallway conversations, in moments where someone hesitates — listening creates space for real connection.
- Lead With Authenticity. Being a leader doesn’t require sharing every detail of your personal life, but showing that you’re human helps others feel safe to do the same. Acknowledging stress, challenges, or uncertainty can foster stronger team connections. Teams respond to leaders who are real.
- Design Policies That Reflect Real Needs. Empathy shows up in how organizations structure support. Parental leave that matches the realities of recovery, flexibility for caregivers, and mental health resources that employees actually use — these all send a clear message: We care. When employees see policy that reflects their lived experience, trust builds.
- Follow Words With Action. It’s important to show support through your choices —whether that’s redistributing work, directing to specific company resources that can help, or being available for honest conversations. Small actions often speak louder than mission statements.
- Build Systems of Support. Empathy doesn’t stop with the manager-employee relationship. It can be embedded into how teams function — peer mentorship, inclusive feedback loops, and recognition systems all contribute to a culture where people feel valued.
Asking Instead Of Assuming
In practice, empathetic leadership means creating space for feedback, being attuned to changes in your team’s energy or performance, and acknowledging that people may be working from different viewpoints. It means asking instead of assuming. It means being curious rather than reactive.
I try to model that in one-on-one check-ins, in how I support new parents on my team, in how I talk about challenges, and how I support my team through change. I’m still learning, but what I’ve found is that when people feel supported, they show up with more energy, more ideas, and more loyalty. They pay that empathy forward.
A few months ago, a colleague thanked me for giving her space during a tough time. I hadn’t done anything extraordinary — just listened, adjusted expectations, and checked in regularly. But it reminded me how much small leadership moments matter. They shape how people feel about their work and their workplace.
How Real Progress Happens
Leadership is about fostering the conditions for others to succeed. Empathy shapes how teams function, how trust is built, and how workplaces grow. This is how real progress happens — and how we create organizations that last.
Early in my career, I thought I had to separate personal experiences from professional spaces. My journey to motherhood, the obstacles I’ve faced, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way have all helped me become a more grounded, compassionate leader.
If we want workplaces where people are engaged, innovative, and resilient, we need leaders who lead with heart. That starts with empathy — not as a performance, but as a daily practice. It's not a buzzword. It's a way of working. And it's one that has the power to change everything.
About The Author:
Monica Singh Avram is Vice President, General Counsel Digital and Corporate Enterprise, at Elevance Health.